we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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