So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
only you would photoshop your dick
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
