i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize