im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize