If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
