butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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