Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize