scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
