i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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