Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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