I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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