I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
