I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize