she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
