Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
