I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
