I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
