I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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