So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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