you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
