someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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