yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
