Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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