Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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