Moan for me like Helen Keller
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
