I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
