the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
