sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
