this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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