sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
