this beer tastes like vomit already
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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