he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize