Don't you send me to vm
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize