I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i think im in europe. pls send help
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
why is half of my head shaved?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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