thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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