She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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