Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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