think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
