I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the day after is always just damage control
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
