Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
