I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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