Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
