Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
