every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
