Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
