if you like me you must not know who I am
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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