it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
