My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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