i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
