She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
