just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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