I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize