If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
