life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
