i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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