So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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