singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just found puke in my bra..
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
