We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize