i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
