So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
