Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
