Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize