I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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