am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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