People with herpes should wear stickers.
Barsexuality is the new black.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
