Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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