I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
